Time

TIME
It is my biggest trial. Right now I am going to school full time while working full time. Next semester, hopefully I'll be cast in a show. I really need to remember how I did this back at my skinnest.

Of course I don't think I was working full time then....
I don't know how to do homework, attend school, work, and work out. I think my problem is TV. I have Netflix and Amazon Prime, so the world is at my fingertips. By WORLD I mean nerdy world.

 

I don't think I had those when I was skinny the last time. So, there wasn't the temptation to lay in bed and watch a marathon of a TV show. BUT I do need to watch something once a day. It is my me time.

PLAN: I think I am going to watch TV at the gym. Sure, I'll probably end up watching some at home too, but I think it will make me feel like I accomplished me time by walking on the treadmill and watching something on my phone.
 
I entered into a competition with a guy I work with. Not the best plan because guys lose weight faster than girls, but I like competition. Plus there is a cash prize, so that is motivation.

I started Whole 30 again. I did it once and lost twelve pounds, but I ended it and went right back to eating what I was used to. I think Whole 30 is a great jumping off point to making life style changes. I just finished it off wrong and ate everything in sight. I was sick from it too.
 

I am also utilizing my Fitbit more. There is a section that records if you got up and moved in that hour. This is WAY important to me because I have a desk job. So, I make sure to get up to use the bathroom of get some water ever hour. Today I even started walking up stairs to do that. Just one flight, but one flight at a time makes a difference. Maybe then I'll walk the 3 flights up to my office by the end of this.  

By the end, I mean by Christmas. I want to be in a very active show in January so I have to build up some sort of stamina. I just have to remember, if I set a schedule for myself I can succeed. I just have to get organized!

Good Beginning

                                      -4

I've been watching my calories and have lost four pounds. I only just started going to the gym yesterday because I am so lazy. I work and go to school, so I feel like I earn my laziness. But I know that if I keep doing that I'm and gonna gain even more weight. Sitting for 8-9 hours at work....sitting for 4-5 hours at school....I'll get even bigger. That cannot happen.

At my skinniest in my adult life I was 170. It was when I was staring in Once On This Island. I'd already been losing weight even though I was going to school full time and working at Taco Bell part time. I was busy, but I had more energy then. It was the role that made me more dedicated to losing weight. Two guys had to lift me onto their shoulders and I was afraid I was going to hurt them. At the time I also was dancing in the show and working out at five in the morning, so I was doing well. We took family photos that year and man I look good.

 
Now I use my schedule as an excuse, but I can't anymore. Sure, I work at 6 am and am always late for work so I cant work out in the morning. Tow days a week I go from work to school until 7 so I don't want to work out on those days cause I go to bed at 9. So, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays are my designated work out days, and I will throw in Fridays and Sundays if I feel like it and have time. Trouble is I already put of doing my homework so many working out will make me fall behind....we will see.

My motivation? Right I just don't want my fat stomach to be in my jeans. You know how it grows out first and then down? Mine has been down for almost a year. I hate that I can see the bulge from my stomach in my jeans. Also, there is a show I want to do. A Year With Frog and Toad. I was in the show 8 years ago and we have just been waiting for the theater to do it again. It is finally slotted for January and we are hoping to get most of the original cast together again. But I was smaller then....I think it might have been the same year of Once On This Island, so I was in shape. If they don't mind casting a fatter girl I can still pull it off.

  

BUT it is a demanding shows, I played multiple roles, so I need to be able to do it. I need to run around the stage, change into a new costume, and get back out there and sing. SO I am trying. If I lose two pounds a week I can lose 32 pounds by Christmas. Not a big dent in my weight, I need to lose 110 pounds at least to be back to where I want to be, but it is a start. I just need to put in the work.   

Step One

Step One:

I bought some weight loss pills, cause every bit helps, right? I got Fitmiss Burn cause it was buy one get one 50% off at my GNC. With these pills I have to drink a gallon of water a day, which has already gotten old. I am sick of peeing all the time!
 

I exchanged my Vasa membership for a Planet Fitness membership because I may have burned some bridges at Vasa when I canceled my personal trainer a month ago. Don't really want to run into him.
 

I bought a wacoal sports bra online that is supposed to be good for larger endowed people like me. I'm a 38 DDD. It got good reviews so I am excited.  Gets here on Thursday.

 

Next, I am going to buy new work out shoes after work. We shall see how expensive I got with those. Not too much cause I have bills, but I need good shoes to work out in.

I already have ALOT of workout clothes cause I buy them in the hopes I'll start working out again. So I am good in that department.

I have kept track of everything I am eating today and and wearing my Fitbit to track my movement. Hoping I make it to the gym today for at least a half hour.

Bad as it Could Be

Well, it as happened. I have ballooned to an unbelievable size and it is time to take action. My problem is that I can lose small amounts just fine; when you're bigger the weight kinda just comes off at first. But then I think, well I can have one cookie. then one cookie turns into two things at Taco Bell, then eating out every meal, then eating half a pizza and,,,,well here we are. I don't want to post pictire yet. I want to lose a bit of weight and then do before and after shots. At least twenty pounds. That may seem like a lot to lose, but it isn't when you hear my weight.....

Growing up I was a bean pole. Middle school came and I was bigger than the other girls, but I wasn't fat. Then in High School I quit cheerleading and read more books and watched more TV. The scale slowly began to creep up. I lost a bunch of weight for a role I played about nine years ago...got down to 160, which was amazing for me. I looked great, felt great, and everything was going my way. But as my life fell apart, my body wasn't far behind. I got into debt, I quit college, I started making some bad chocices and now I am where I am now.

But it is time for a change. I am taking a short break from acting, that may turn into a permenant thing, and I am back in school and working towards somethings again. For the first time in years I can see a future for myself. But in that future I need to be healthy. Cant teach a classroom of kids if I don't have the energy to stand all day. I can't act on stage if I'm out of breath just from walking. Can't sit down and write a book if I'm going to continue the way I am, I'll get even bigger.

SO, I am FOCUSED.. And this is a way to hold myself accountable.

Current Weight: 275 pounds